How does the tooth fairy survive a hurricane? She braces for it.
Where does the Japanese mafia take a bath?
In a yakuzzi.
Why did the toilet paper role down the hill?
To get to the bottom...
What do you call a sleeping paper towel?
A napkin.
"Hey dad, my electric toothbrush is broken!"
"No son, it's just gone acoustic."
To all ya'll without tap water,
Get well soon.
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
I have no idea what I'm doing with eyeliner
To be honest, I just wing it.
I go through so much shampoo it's just ridiculous!
I don't know, maybe my head is bigger than most but it does say to use a cap full.
If you don't use a bidet...
You're doing a half-a*sed job.
What do you call a disabled paper towel?
A napkan't.
You can tell the gender of an ant by putting it on top of water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it doesn't, buoyant.
What do you call a white bear that's shaped like a tooth?
A Molar Bear.
My kid didn't want to tell me that his tooth was loose.
I had to pull it out of him.
What do you call two beautiful cat that sit together in the basin?
Purrfectly in sink.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
This s***ty toilet broke down again!
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side.
I got 5 packs of deodorant for a nickel.
Deodorant is a scent.
Moisturiser is good for your skin...
Let that sink in.
What did the flirty shower head say?
"Every naked person I see turns me on!"
I usually sing with a deep voice. But when I wash my hands,
I sing faucetto.
Police are appealing to the man who stole all the soap from the supermarket
To come clean
I tried giving my cat a bath and it sucked...
I couldn't get the fur off my tongue for a week.
Why don't ghosts wear deodorant?
They like to keep it super natural.
What did the duck say when she purchased new lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
Why can’t a tile walk very well?
He has square feet.
I passed my dentistry tests with an A in my written paper.
In Oral, B.
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
Ran out of toilet paper today. We’re now using lettuce leaves.
Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
I made a bridge out of Kleenex.
I have truss tissues.
Saw a sign for bath plugs. I didn’t know that was electric!
Heard a joke about urinals, but it didn't make me laugh.
I guess you had to pee there.
If a wine connoisseur is called a sommelier then a perfume connoisseur should be called a smellier.
Dad asked if he could borrow my deodorant.
I said "sure, no sweat."
Why do toilet paper rolls have trust issues?
They're always getting ripped off.
I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts
It's called "Leave me the fuh cologne".
I had to unclog my sink today.
I found it to be very draining.
My dad was fixing the basin in the bathroom and accidentally broke some tiles.
My mother said, "I told you that method would be fewtile".
I just dropped my phone in the bath
Now it's syncing.
Why Don't Gymnasts Use Towels?
Cause they dumbbell dry.
Made a shoe out of tea bags for my wife, she said she needed to wipe her nose.
Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant...
Dirty Bastards.
Woke up this morning to a tap on my door.
That plumber has some sense of humour.
Don't ever think dentists are perfect individuals
They most certainly have floss.
My husband won't let the kids take toys with them when they go potty, but I do.
It is a toy-let, after all.
No matter what shampoo I use, I can’t seem to get rid of my dandruff.
It’s a real head scratcher.
The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally gave her a glue stick....
She still isn't talking to me.
Someone stole my fragrance-free lotion...
It was a scentless act of cruelty.