What is the definition of art theft? A: The haul of frames.
Why didn't the artist replace his kitchen sink? Because he said that if it's not baroque, don't fix it.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
The color turquoise was judged as the best new color because it was cyantifically proven to be.
What's the difference between a colorful women's garment and a famous live music venue?
One's a house of blues, the other's a blouse of hues.
What does an artist call his sketch pad? A house.
Why did the origami artist win her court case? She was great at doing the paperwork.
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
Blue jeans are immortal. They never die, they just fade away!
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
Military submarines are a deep navy blue in color.
One should never mix oranges in apple juice. Well, perhaps you may do it once in a blue moon.
When Papa red wanted to have some toppings on his bread, he told Son red, "Pass me the crimson!"
The painter wanted to feel the texture, so he buttered his toast with his fingers.
Did you hear about the painter who works in jail? They say he had a brush with the law.
I was astonished when my shirt's color changed from red to pink after a wash. Guess it showed me its true colors.
Blue and orange are always polite and amicable with each other because they are complementary colors.
What killed the painter? He had too many strokes.
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
Why do old artists never die? They just withdraw.
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
What's brown and sticky? A stick.
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
After a tiring day at work, my wife drew me a relaxing bath. It wasn't very smart of me to ask if it was going to be in color or a sketch.
Today, we had to create a new hang position for some lighting fixtures. After all day trying, we couldn't get the new batten hung properly.
Turns out it was just a pipe dream.
The garden where only white cars are driven can be called a garden of white carnation.
What did the art teacher say to the aspiring actress? You sure look the art.
When facing trouble in the workspace, all the colorists rallied together by saying, "Come what grey, we will overcome all obstacles!"
Aliens hate playing golf in space as there are too many black holes!
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
A friend of mine swallowed some food colouring. He feels he dyed a little inside.
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
While the blues musician performed his most famous song, balloons of every color were released in the arena. Guess we may get to call it the 'House of Hues'.
The favorite colors of fishes are deep blue and aquamarine blue.
The stage is the most hygienic place in the world. Every time we turn on the lights they get a wash.
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
Where does a cow hang his best paintings? In a moo-seum, of course.
Never date a Theater person...
... wayyy too much Drama...
My least favourite hue is purple. It's worse than red and blue combined.
Why was the painter upset when his doctor bought all of his paintings? The doctor thought the paintings would go up in value after his death.
Why did the bald man decide to paint a bunch of rabbits on his head? He thought that they could look like hares from a distance.
Q. Which famous magician always wore a multi-color suit on stage?
A. Hue-dini.
What did the painter say to the wall? Another crack like that and I'll have to plaster you!
Blackboards love drinking beverages, especially hot white chalk-olate!
What painting is terrible at ever being happy? The Moaning Lisa.
The painting was framed, so the cops arrested it.
Q. What did the bully do to the orange?
A. Beat him to a pulp.
The most notorious one of all pirates was very sad. It may have been because he was Bluebeard!
Our backstage manager is leaving at the end of the year. He has been an outstanding member of our theatre team.
Props to him.