Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.