Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
