Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.