What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.