Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
Who was the most flatulent Pharaoh in all of old Egypt?
King Tootsarecommon.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
