World Jokes

Hey baby, let me take you on a trip around the world.
Kids Can Be Cruel... Little Timothy was a bright young boy, and he was even fairly handsome. The only problem was that he was lost his eye in a fishing accident when he was younger. His family was too poor to afford a glass eye, so his grandfather whittled him a wooden one. He was made fun of all through school for his eye and it completely destroyed his self esteem. But he was tired of letting the world get him down. The school dance was coming up and he would be darned if he didn't let himself have a good time. Timothy had eyes for a girl named Sally. She was shy and just as lonely as he was, due to having a fairly pronounced mustache, earning her the nickname, "Hair-lip". Well Timmy saw past her 'stache and thought she was the most beautiful girl in school, and he decided he was going to ask her out. He waited until lunch, and spotted her eating a peanut butter sandwich alone in the corner of the lunchroom. He marched up to her and said, "Sally, I've been seeing you around for a while, and, well... Would you like to go to the dance with me?" Sally's eyes lit up and she responded, "Would I!" "Hair-lip!" blurted Timothy and ran away.
Are you Medusa? When you looked at me the world seem to stop.
Are you from another world? You look like my love from another star.
You might not be America, but I found a whole new world with you.
I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world.
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
They say Disney World is the happiest place on earth, obviously, they haven't been in your arms.
"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you're probably watching the wrong channel."
Are you wearing space pants? Because your a** is out of this world.
Do you work for NASA? Because you're out of this world.
Do you live on Mars? ‘Cause you look out of this world.
Hey girl, I’m not just going to show you the world, I’ll show you the universe.
I can’t tell if that was an earthquake or if you just seriously rocked my world.
Jose the Tourist A young Mexican man named Jose was curious about America so he saved his money and went on a trip. He wanted to go see a baseball game so when he went home, he could tell his family all about it. When he got there, the game was sold out, so he decided to climb to the top of a flag pole to get a better look. When he returned home, his family was anxious to hear about his experience: "What happened?" asked his family. "Well, America is the nicest place in the world!!" he said. "Before the game started, all the people in the stands and all the players stood up, looked at me and shouted to me: "Jose, can you see?"
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