Secrets Jokes

Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
Why shouldn’t you tell an owl your secrets?
They’re always talon everyone.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
“Best Friend: One million memories, ten thousand inside jokes, one hundred shared secrets.”
— Unknown
“Best Friend: One million memories, ten thousand inside jokes, one hundred shared secrets.”
— Unknown
Don't tell secrets in corn fields.
Too many ears around.
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield?
There are too many ears.
The Joys of Being Over 70 There are some unexpected joys about being on the other side of 70, for example... Kidnappers aren't very interested in you. In a hostage situation, you will probably be released first. No one expects you to run into a burning building. Or run at all. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?” People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. There’s nothing left to learn the hard way. Things you buy now won’t wear out. You can eat dinner at 4 p.m. You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations. You get into a heated argument about pension claims. You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. You sing along with the elevator music. Your eyes won’t get much worse. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size. And you may not remember who sent you this list.
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