I just watched someone try to steal a pumpkin from a bull.
He got gourd.
Why couldnt the pumpkin have kids?
He had a halloweener.
Why did the Jack-O-Lantern go to the pumpkin patch?
Because he had holes in him.
I squeezed the innards of a pumpkin into a glass, and the result was just beautiful
In fact, it was gourdjuice.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
Why is pumpkin pie so much better than sweet potato pie?
Sweet potatoes are ungourdly.
When it comes to seasonal drinks, more and more are converting to the church of pumpkin spice,
but I choose to remain eggnogstic.
This year I'm carving my pumpkin to look like an intricate ball of rope, so it can be a gourd-ian knot.
Why did the pumpkin pie go to a dentist?
Because it needed a filling.
Why did the pirate have a pumpkin strapped to his arm?
He was a squash-buckler.
What did the perverted pumpkin use for his pick-up line?
Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin.
I told him I'd gourd it with my life.
What does a surprised pumpkin say?
OH MY GOURD!
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