Opening Jokes

I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
Mark Knopfler is opening a Chinese restaurant
He's calling it Wok of Life.
I'm opening up an old folk's home in Tijuana.
Señor Citizens.
Are you the opening night? Because you make me nervous.
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
Me: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
Here's to a big opening weekend.
“I admit opening an alligator petting zoo was not the best idea, but I told the kids to be careful so there’s plenty of blame to go around.”

- John Lyon.
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
Do you know what they say about hockey players? They can always find the opening!
Why won't prison life be much different from playing for the Bills? OJ will still have big guys opening holes for him.
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