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Found Jokes

Food Quotes
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
Mall Pick Up Lines
Are you good at finding things? Because I think you may have found my heart. Also, I don't know which zone I parked my car into so I need help with that too. Thanks!
Utensils Puns
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him.
Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
Clothes Pick Up Lines
Hey baby, I just found out our shirts were manufactured in unfair working conditions; let's take them off.
Pea Puns
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
Elvis Pick Up Lines
Hey you long legged girl with the short dress on. I finally found you!!
Yard Puns
A man has found water while digging in his backyard. For many years, he used the water at home saving tons of money until one day, the water stopped flowing. So he dug a little bit further and found water again and used it for years until it also dried up. This time, he went further, brought a digging machine, and dug a deeper hole until he found water.
Neighbors, annoyed by the noise, called the local sheriff who arrives to check what was happening in the backyard. The sheriff discovering the scene in the backyard says:
"Well, well, well ... What have we got here?"
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards
I'm sure that must have been a record.
Tableware Puns
I came home and found my wife naked, except for a porcelain mug on each breast.
She said she was a t-cup.
4th of July Pick Up Lines
You might not be America, but I found a whole new world with you.
What Mother Superior Found
What Mother Superior Found The mother superior is very upset. She walks into the dinner room and announces to all the nuns to be quiet and listen. "I was walking around the gardens, as I do." She says in a loud voice, "When I found some disturbing things! For one, I found a man's underpants!" All the nuns are taken aback except for one, who is smiling. "Then, " continues the mother superior, "I found a WOMAN'S underpants!" All the nuns gasp together, except for one, who is giggling. "And if that wasn't enough, I found.... a... a... used condom!" All the nuns gasp, and some turn white, except for one, who is laughing quietly. "And in the condom," finishes mother superior, "was a hole." All the nuns laugh, except for one, who is crying.
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