Competitive Jokes

My wife and I are very competitive, but when it came to flamingo impersonation, I didn't stand a chance
She had a leg up the whole time.
Why arenโ€™t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we areโ€ฆ but I laugh more.
Why do so few vegetarians become competitive swimmers?
They donโ€™t like the swim meats!
The Religious Tennis Match A bishop and a bishop are having a tennis match. The bishop is very competitive, but canโ€™t seem to bring his A-game to the priest who is clearly better. After a volley from the priest, the bishop misses and yells: โ€œGod*amn it! I missed!โ€, startling the priest. He lets it slip and the match continues. But alas, after a fierce back-hand from the priest, the bishop misses and again yells: โ€œGod*amn it! I missed!โ€ โ€œStop itโ€ yells the priest. โ€œYou canโ€™t use the Lords name in vain like that!โ€ The bishop apologizes. โ€œIโ€™m sorry, my son. I swear to you, if I do it again, may God smite me with all his might.โ€ โ€œFair enough.โ€ grumbles the priest, and the match continues. Itโ€™s going really well, but as fate may have it, the bishop misses and slips again, shouting โ€œGod*amn it! I missed!โ€ Suddenly thick, dark clouds gather in the sky and with roaring thunder, a lightning bolt shoots down to the earth and vaporizes the ball midair. A thundering voice emits from the skies... โ€œDa*n it! I missed!โ€
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