Who can shave 10 times a day and still have a beard? A barber.
What goes up when the rain comes down? An umbrella.
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? "Where's Popcorn?"
Did you hear about the party a little boy had for his sisters barbie dolls? A. It was a Barbie-
Q: What did one tooth say to the other tooth?
A: Thar's gold in them fills!
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will Let it go.
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
PRIME-mates.
Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue.
"How do you shoot a killer bee?" "With a bee bee gun."
What goes up and down but doesn't move? The temperature!
What do you call a crushed angle? a rectangle
Why did the daddy rabbit go to the barber?
He had a lot of little hares.
What kind of shoes do all spies wear? Sneakers.
Why is your foot more special than your other body parts? Because they have their own soul. What is heavy forward but not backward? Ton.
What kind of driver never get a parking ticket? A screw driver
What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!
What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
Nacho cheese!
Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She couldn't control her pupils!
Why did the balloon burst? Because is saw a lolly pop.
19 and 20 got into a fight.
21.
Did you hear about the limo driver who went 25 years without a customer? All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go MOO!
What kind of bed does a mermaid sleep in? A water
Which is the longest word in the dictionary? "Smiles", because there is a mile between each "s"!
What kind of flower doesn't sleep at night? The Day-zzz
What bow can't be tied? A rainbow!
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud
What did one wall say to the other wall?
"I’ll meet you at the corner!"
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one!
Q: Doctor, I keep hearing a ringing sound.
A: Then answer the phone!
Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?
A: To get a root canal.
Which month do soldiers hate most? The month of March!
What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move? The road!
Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep? So he could have sweet dreams. What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
What did one aspiring wig say to the other aspiring wig? I wanna get a head!
Did you know vampires aren’t real?
Unless you Count Dracula.
What do you get when you plant kisses? Tu-lips (two-lips)
What did the blanket say to the bed? Don't worry, I've got you covered!
What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs? A penny.
Q: Why did the king go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned!
What do you call a person that chops up cereal. a cereal killer.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean? Because they dropped out of school!
Where do crayons go on vacation? Color-ado!
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