What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.
Who cleans the bottom of the ocean? A Mer-Maid
Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that went round biting people's arms off? It was a vicious cycle.
What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut?
I'm a cashew!
What washes up on very small beaches? Microwaves!
Why did the insomniac man get arrested? He resisted a rest
Why do vampires seem sick?
They’re always coffin.