Why are pirates called pirates? Cause they arrrrr.
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.
What’s a good name for a detective?
Mr. E
What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
Did you hear about the two bed bugs who met in the mattress? They got married in the spring.
What runs but can't walk? The faucet!
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
Why did Tony go out with a prune? Because he couldn't find a date!
Little Johnny's teacher said,
"Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's."
"Did you copy hers?" she asked.
Johnny replied, "No, teacher, it's the same dog!"
Who do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales.
What do you call a window that raps? 2PANEZ
What do you call it when your nose is stuffy at the rodeo?
Cowboy Boogie.
What does one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!
Why should you take a pencil to bed? To draw the curtains!
Who earns a living driving their customers away? A taxi driver. What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? LMAYO
What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move? The road!
Why did God make only one Yogi Bear? Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo.
What do you call a horse that can't lose a race? Sherbet
Why couldn't the pirate play cards? Because he was sitting on the deck!
Q: What did the dentist get for an award?
A: A little plaque
What's the first thing elves learn in school?
The "elf"-abet!
What is the tallest building in the world? The library! It has the most stories!
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them
Did you hear about that new broom? It's sweeping the nation!
What vehicle has 4 wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
What do you get when you cross Sonic The Hedgehog and Curious George? 2 Fast 2 Curious
What kind of jokes do you make in the shower? Clean Jokes!
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that went round biting people's arms off? It was a vicious cycle.
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Depeche a la Mode.
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
What game does the sky love to play?
Twister.
What kind of shoes do all spies wear? Sneakers.
What garment are you most likely to spot a house in?
Address
What do you call a Bee who is having a bad hair day? A Frisbee.
Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She couldn't control her pupils!
What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? Guardians of the Galaxy.
Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon? Because he was a paleontologist.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
What do you get when you plant kisses? Tu-lips (two-lips)
Do you know why diarrhea is hereditary? Because it runs through your jeans. What would you do if I stole a kiss? Call the Police
What did the beach say to the tide when it came in?
Long time, no sea.
Can I tell you a joke about paper. Nah, never mind, its tearable.
What kind of driver never get a parking ticket? A screw driver
Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score.
Why do ducks have tail feathers?
To cover their buttquacks.
What did one plate say to the other? Dinners on me
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They’re always stuffed!
What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Crispies!
Go to BabaMail
