What's easy to get into but hard to get out of? Trouble
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his parents were in a jam!
What do you call a very rude bird?
A mockingbird!
Q: Doctor, I keep hearing a ringing sound.
A: Then answer the phone!
What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Nobody nose.
What scares a caterpillar?
A dog-erpillar!
Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She couldn't control her pupils!
Do you know why diarrhea is hereditary? Because it runs through your jeans. What would you do if I stole a kiss? Call the Police
What do you do if someone rolls their eyes at you?
Roll them back.
Why did Tony go out with a prune? Because he couldn't find a date!
Why do we never tell jokes about pizza?
They’re too cheesy.
Why is Basketball such a messy sport? Because you dribble on the floor!
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.
How do you repair a broken tomato? Tomato Paste!
What four letters will frighten a burglar? O I C U Where does bad light go? To prism!
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Depeche a la Mode.
Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks? Neither, they both weigh a ton!
What does one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!
Why was the broom late? It over swept!
Why did the birdie go to the hospital? To get a tweetment.
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Annie
Annie Who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
Can February March? No. But April May.
What did they baby corn say to the mama corn?
Where’s pop corn?
What do you call it when your nose is stuffy at the rodeo?
Cowboy Boogie.
Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They’re always stuffed!
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? He wanted to get to the bottom.
What did the hamburger name his daughter? Patty!
Why can't a leopard hide? Because he's always spotted!
What time is it when people are throwing pieces of bread at your head?
Time to duck.
What do you get when you cross Speedy Gonzales with a country singer? Arriba McEntire.
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice krispies.
Why do ducks have tail feathers?
To cover their buttquacks.
What do you call a magician that lost his magic?
Ian.
Did you hear about the ghost comedian? He was booed off stage.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He felt crummy!
Why do vampires seem sick?
They’re always coffin.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
How do you know when a bike is thinking?
You can see its wheels turning.
19 and 20 got into a fight.
21.
Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school? Because they're all in High School!
Why did God make only one Yogi Bear? Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo.
What goes up when the rain comes down? An umbrella.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!
Why did the tree go to the dentist? To get a root canal.
The opposite of isolate is...
yousoearly.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An Investigator
What exam do young witches have to pass? A spell-ing test!
What kind of shoes do all spies wear? Sneakers.
How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path.
Go to BabaMail
