What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant.
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Annie
Annie Who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer? The Space bar!
What did the beach say to the tide when it came in?
Long time, no sea.
What did the policeman say to his tummy?
Freeze. You’re under a vest.
What did a sign say outside the pet shop? Buy 1 dog get 1 flea!
Q: Doctor, I keep hearing a ringing sound.
A: Then answer the phone!
Why didn't the 11 year old go to the pirate movie? because it was rated arrrrr!
What dog keeps the best time? A watch dog.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? A. Milk and quackers!
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef Jerky.
What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller.
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
Where do crayons go on vacation? Color-ado!
Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalized? Reports say it was due to too many strokes.
Why are chefs so mean? They beat eggs and whip cream.
What kind of jokes do you make in the shower? Clean Jokes!
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.
What kind of flower doesn't sleep at night? The Day-zzz
Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Never mind, it’s over your head.
Why can’t you ever tell a joke around glass?
It could crack up.
Where do cows go on December 31st?
A moo year’s eve party.
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? "Where's Popcorn?"
What did one math book say to the other?
I’ve got so many problems.
Did you hear about the angry pancake? He just flipped.
What did the daddy chimney say to the baby chimney? You are to little to smoke!
When I was young there were only 25 letters in the Alphabet. Nobody new why.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue
What do you call a ghosts mom and dad? Transparents
I went to the doctor with hearing problems. He said, "Can you describe the symptoms?"
I said, “Homer’s the big dude and Marge has blue hair...”
What do you call a window that raps? 2PANEZ
What do you call a snowman with a six pack? An abdominal snowman.
What kind of bird sticks to sweaters? a Vel-Crow.
Why do birds fly south for the winter? Its easier than walking!
What do you call a person that chops up cereal. a cereal killer.
What washes up on very small beaches? Microwaves!
What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me and we will go places!
Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield?
There are too many ears.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud
What do you get when you cross a lawyer with the Godfather? An offer you can't understand.
What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? Every morning you'll rise and shine!
What do you call a Bee who is having a bad hair day? A Frisbee.
Can I tell you a joke about paper. Nah, never mind, its tearable.
What do you call a frozen dog? A pupsicle.
Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep? So he could have sweet dreams. What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
What do you get when you cross Sonic The Hedgehog and Curious George? 2 Fast 2 Curious
What does the Lone Ranger say when he takes out the garbage? To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump.
Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
What’s a snake’s strongest subject in school?
Hiss-tory.
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