Why do you have to wait so long for a train on Halloween? They only run a skeleton service.
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
Come with me, let’s convert our potential energy into kinetic energy.
What type of bar is kid friendly?
A chocolate bar.
Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime? They have hare conditioning!
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Paris!
Paris who?
Paris the thought!
Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.
Maturity is typically most rapid in a low latitude, where women and pineapples most do thrive.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
The most notorious one of all pirates was very sad. It may have been because he was Bluebeard!
"Bury me next to a straight man."
What do you call a chicken crossing the road?
Poultry in motion.
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Hi, you’re so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line. Would you settle for just flowers?
Where do boats go when they get sick? The dock
History teachers are the worst gifters
They always think about the past, not the present.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I smell like your mom/dad?
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
I was talking to my Mom the other day and she mentioned that none of her sisters needed the vaccine.
Turned out they already had the auntybodies.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
Car puns are really tiring
I bought a pumpkin for Halloween but it was broken
So i had to get a pumpkin patch.
"We don’t grow older, we grow riper." - Pablo Picasso
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
What do you call a baby monkey? A Chimp off the old block.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
When banana growers are heart broken, what do they sing? What else but Peelings?
Your fur is red, so beautiful, like an angel in disguise.
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
It may seem a bit corny but we appreciate you working your tail off for us.
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
Are you from pennsylvania cause I want to stick my pen in your sylvania.
What do you call doctors who make vaccines for the flu?
Flu-Fighters.
Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?
So when they come back to port they can scandinavian.
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
Hey, want to get together sometime since we both have unpaired electrons?
If you were a baseball mit, would you catch my fly balls?
Do you know what really bugs me? Insect puns.
Reading is a novel idea.
Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine?
It was about a weak back.
“A best friend is someone who, when they don’t understand, they still understand."
— Nancy Werlin
Please wine me and dine me,
Please show me a good time,
After all, I’m a lady,
And I even can rhyme!
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
"I just can't take the bad lovemaking anymore".
“URINE: opposite of ‘you’re out.'”
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
"I can rise and shine, just not at the same time."
– Unknown
Go to BabaMail
