Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
I am a mean green machine.
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
Tom Hanks just got the Corona virus.
They had to lock the whole Cast Away.
John Travolta has been diagnosed with the Corona Virus.
He had chills that were multiplying.
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
I wanna bob for your apples.
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
What's the difference between Wuhan and Las Vegas?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
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