I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
What do you get when a raven flies into a group of 18 crows?
Corvid-19.
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
Which Pokémon has Covid?
Pik-achoo.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
I am a mean green machine.
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
Hey Baby, wanna find out why they call me Pumpkin-Head?
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
I want a taste of your Milky Way.
Nice pumpkins!
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
I wanna bob for your apples.
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
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