I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
Which Pokémon has Covid?
Pik-achoo.
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
Nice pumpkins!
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
Don't worry, the Corona Virus won't last long... It was made in China.
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
What does a person with Covid like to drink?
Coughy.
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you?
I really hope corona virus can't spread through s*x
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
I want a taste of your Milky Way.
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.
Hey Baby, wanna find out why they call me Pumpkin-Head?
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
I am a mean green machine.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
What's the difference between Wuhan and Las Vegas?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
What do you get when a raven flies into a group of 18 crows?
Corvid-19.
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