I would talk about Valentine’s Day
But it looks like I missed my date.
My wife says she wants to order a glass of wine during our Valentine’s Day dinner.
She says she loves being carded.
I ordered the wrong kind of flowers online for Valentines Day.
Oops e-daisies.
You must be a bowling ball since you’re right up my alley.
You can donate blood to me anytime since you’re just my type.
You’re as sweet as Pi.
When I tell you how much I love you, I'm not overreacting.
You're acute Valentine.
We’ve got serious chemistry.
My love for you simply radiates.
You don’t need to pay rent to live inside my heart.
What Twix do you have up your sleeve that makes me love you?
I won’t let you slip through my Butter Fingers.
I whale always love you.
I am fawn’d of you my deer.
Are you a lightbulb? Because you turn me on.
Are you a flame? Because I think I found my perfect match.
Are you an alien? Because I believe you’ve abducted my heart.
What kind of dance do single people do on Valentine's Day?
The Independance!
Your love is like vodka. You’re worth the chase.
You’re the queen of my heart.
I think you’re dandelion.
I bought my wife a matching belt and bag for Valentine's Day
She should have that vacuum up and running in no time.
I can heartly wait to see you.
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
Happy Valentine's day.
Such a Lovely day.
What's the article of winter clothing most appropriate for Valentine's Day?
's mitten.
I wood never leaf you.
I aorta tell you how much I love you.
What's a pun's favorite love song?
"My Punny Valentine!"
Are you a locksmith? Because you have the key to my heart.
I love you dairy much.
From my head tomatoes, I love you bunches.
Are you a magnet? Because I find you very attractive.
Are you a keyboard? Because you are just my type.
You must be glue because I am sticking with you.
This Valentine's day, I decided to pay extra and buy flowers that look after themselves.
They are Self Raising.
For Valentines Day, I decided to get my wife some beads for an abacus.
It’s the little things that count.
Are you a defibrillator? Because you are sending shocks to my heart.
What did one lightbulb say to the other lightbulb on Valentine’s Day?
I love you watts.
You’re a cutie 3.14159265359
You must be a geologist because you rock my world.
I sulfur when you argon.
Are you a 30 degree angle? Because you're acute-y.
Not to brag, but I already have a date for Valentines Day.
February 14th.
I “lub” you.
I'm fondue you, it's true
I am cocoa-nuts about you.
I’m fondue you.
There’s so mushroom in my heart for you.
There’s no reason to wine about you.
My love for you is like no otter.
I love you meow and forever.
Cheesy Valentines Day Sayings
Are you a thief? Because you stole my heart.
Your sweater must be made out of wife material.
I aorta tell you how much I love you.
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy
I find you very a-peeling.
I've been thinking of U periodically.
You're the ruler of my heart.
If you were words on a page, you'd be what they call the FINE print!
Every piece of you is sweet.
Thank you for making our relationship sweet rather than a rocky road.
Our love started with a Hershey’s Kiss.
Don’t go bacon my heart.
You have a pizza my heart.
I’m not lion when I say you’re my mane.
No-bunny is as hare-larious as you.
I think I found my perfect match
Are you a needle? Because you are sew special to me.
Was a bit lonely by myself at home last night on Valentine's Day so I decided to make my own bread.
I was feeling quite kneady
I got a valentine from a pickle today...
It meant a great dill to me.
Yoda one for me!
I fence-y you.
What did the mountain say to the hill on Valentine's day?
You make my heart gush, I lava you.
Your name must be Summer because you are hot.
Why does Valentine's Day never work in Africa?
All the lion cheetahs.
What should you get Lassie, the star of the hit TV show, for Valentine's Day?
A cauliflower.
Your shirt must be made out of husband material.
I dig you a hole lot.
Are you a 90 degree angle? Because this feels just right.
I'd catalog you with the cookbooks because you look delicious.
I followed my heart to you.
We make a great pear
I loaf you.
Are you a drum? Because my heart beats for you.
Are you a card?
We're perfectly suited for each other
What did the arsonist do on Valentine's day?
He met his match.
This may be corny, but you are a-maize-ing.
Is this a science class? Because we have great chemistry.
Your name must be Autumn because I am falling for you.
We have a great connection since you’re wifi-material.
Happy Valentine's Day!
I hope your day starts off with a bang!
"What did Frankenstein's monster say to his girlfriend?"
"Will you be my Valenstein?"
I asked the older woman at work what she is doing for Valentine’s Day and she said that she was taking her husband to the Cardiologist. The heart wants what the heart wants.
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