Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
