Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking