Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
