Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.