"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan