“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
“The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.”
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain