"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."