All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
You know why theater people say "break a leg" instead of good luck?
Because if you do, you'll end up in a cast!
Our backstage manager is leaving at the end of the year. He has been an outstanding member of our theatre team.
Props to him.
I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Today, we had to create a new hang position for some lighting fixtures. After all day trying, we couldn't get the new batten hung properly.
Turns out it was just a pipe dream.
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
Couple of friends have decided to put theatre style seats in their house. It will end in tiers.
I wonder why theatres are so sad? They're always dark, moody, and in tiers.
Everyone was spot on, you really did make a great theatre lighting tech.
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
Show your popcorn and coke guy at the movies a little appreciation. After all, he makes a lot of concessions.
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
Never date a Theater person...
... wayyy too much Drama...
I just got fired from my theatre job. I guess I should've made a bigger scene about it.
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
This hottie has forever changed the film industry, and it starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'. Reel your mind back in - we're talking popcorn!
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.
The skeleton would love to see the latest horror flick, but he just doesn't have the guts for it.
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
A: They apparently went to see "Closed For The Winter"
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.