An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.
Who are the biggest fans at the theatre? The backstage crew - They're always giving props to the actors.
I keep looking at our upstage platform that is designed with only a ladder for access. It's just so hard not to stair.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
I wonder why theatres are so sad? They're always dark, moody, and in tiers.
Today, we had to create a new hang position for some lighting fixtures. After all day trying, we couldn't get the new batten hung properly.
Turns out it was just a pipe dream.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.
You know why theater people say "break a leg" instead of good luck?
Because if you do, you'll end up in a cast!
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
A: They apparently went to see "Closed For The Winter"
Everyone was spot on, you really did make a great theatre lighting tech.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
Show your popcorn and coke guy at the movies a little appreciation. After all, he makes a lot of concessions.
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.