Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.
I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
Couple of friends have decided to put theatre style seats in their house. It will end in tiers.
It may just be a stage I'm going through, but I sure do love the trapdoors on set.
The stage is the most hygienic place in the world. Every time we turn on the lights they get a wash.
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
A: They apparently went to see "Closed For The Winter"
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
Show your popcorn and coke guy at the movies a little appreciation. After all, he makes a lot of concessions.
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
Everyone was spot on, you really did make a great theatre lighting tech.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
Who are the biggest fans at the theatre? The backstage crew - They're always giving props to the actors.
Today, we had to create a new hang position for some lighting fixtures. After all day trying, we couldn't get the new batten hung properly.
Turns out it was just a pipe dream.
