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Words Jokes

Gnome Puns
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
Mother Puns
My mother likes to tell people when I was little that I told her I loved her alphabet soup.
I didn’t, she just likes putting words in my mouth.
Giant Puns
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
Food Poems
She had so many chances
Yet she kept muffin it up
Butter intentions were good
Just not much coffee in her cup

Couldn’t make a good decision
Too much waffling back and forth
Always peppered with doubt
Should she head south, no maybe north

Still, she was fun at a party
I would say, hummus a tune
She’d say, Icing because I’m happy
As the words began to croon

Maybe that’s what’s most important
Omelet let her off the hook
So she’s always in a pickle
Doesn’t do things by the book

Once again, I’m gonna help her
Since she is such a good egg
I said, girl, you’d go much farther
If you weren’t such a nut Meg

(Mike Gentile)
April Fools Jokes
For April fools my girlfriend replaced my alphabits with Cheerios.
I have no words to say how angry I am.
Theater Puns
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
Funny Marriage Quotes
“The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.’”—Anonymous
Funny Work Quotes
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
Writing Puns
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence
Classic Pick Up Lines
Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call ‘FINE PRINT’!
Language Pick Up Lines
There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language.
But I could never string together enough words to properly express how beautiful you are.
Can you do sign language?
I wish I knew how to sign because I don't think any spoken words can describe how beautiful you are.
Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.
Funny Parenting Quotes
“I’ve got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: “Hello, goodbye, and I’m pregnant”.

- Dean Martin.