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Wonder Jokes

Food Poems
I’m trying a new ‘see food’ diet
I’d recommend that you all try it
Any food will do
Nothing’s bad for you ...
It's no wonder my trousers don’t fit!

(Jan Allison)
Gorilla Puns
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Funny Birthday Poems
The day after your birthday,
you look in the mirror to see:
a) you've got a zit from eating all that cake;
b) your love handles have expanded a half inch;
c) you singed your eyebrows blowing out the candles.

The day after your birthday,
a) you require six extra hours of sleep;
b) you can't find your living room under the birthday debris;
c) you wonder how you could possibly have done THAT.

The day after your birthday, it's time to:
a) return some gifts (what IS that, anyway?);
b) call your friends and apologize for yesterday;
c) get out of the country, fast.

The day after your birthday...
we should all look so great
and have it so good!

Happy Birthday!
Appreciate yourself and your life!

(Joanna Fuchs)
The years go flying by so fast
We wonder why our youth does not last
But when I look at you I see
A younger version of what you use to be
But remember I am aging with you
And without my glasses the picture is skewed
So who cares about what has been done
As long as birthdays keep having fun!

(Samatha C. Ringle)
Funny Aging Quotes
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” - George Burns
Space Pick Up Lines
Ever wonder what's happening under Orion's belt?
Funny Marriage Quotes
“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should just live next door and visit now and then.”—Katherine Hepburn
Flamingo Puns
I do wonder why my flamingo friends always do so well in tests and exams. After all, they always just wing it.
Twinkle Twinkle Funny Poems
Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a teatray in the sky.
(Lewis Carroll)
Twinkle Twinkle little star,
how I wonder where you are.
Giant thermonuclear reaction,
held by gravitational attraction.
Twinkle, twinkle little star,
you look small since you're so far!
Tinkle, Tinkle little car
How I wonder what you are.
Leaking oil every day
Having it your own way.
Going up hills real slow
I don’t want you any mo’.
Tinkle, Tinkle little car
Boy, what a lemon you are.
(Cecilia L. Goodbody)
Divorce Puns
How are relationships similar to algebra?
Because sometimes you look at your X and wonder Y.
Funny Animal Quotes
“The happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man, it is to know that and to wonder at it.”

- Jacques Yves Cousteau.
Yeti/ Bigfoot Puns
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
If I Had a Dollar... Jokes
If I had a dollar for every time I was suspicious ...
I'd wonder why I got so much water.