Wild Jokes

Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
"When did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran?"
- Lucy Parker
I just beat my friend in a Wild West themed art race!
I was quicker to the draw.
"Bone to be wild."
Did you hear about the skeleton that was almost picked apart by a group of wild dogs?
He marrowly escaped.
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
I just beat my friend in a Wild West themed art race!
I was quicker to the draw.
Your pheromones are driving me wild.
I was born in the wild but for you I would be domesticated.
Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears?
A left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier.
The $5000 Desk
Stanley is looking for a new desk for his office and he spots one that looks perfect in an antique shop window. He goes inside and asks the shopkeeper how much it is. “That desk is going for $5000,” says the shopkeeper. “$5000 for an old desk? That’s outrageous!” exclaims Stanley. “Ah,” says the shopkeeper, “but this is a magic desk.” He turns to the desk and asks, “Desk, how much money do I have in my pocket?” The desk taps one of its legs on the floor four times. The shopkeeper turns out his pocket and, sure enough, there are four dollar coins there. “Wow, that’s pretty cool,” says Stan. “Alright, desk, how much money does my wife have in her bank account?” At this, the desk goes wild, manically banging all four of its legs up and down repeatedly for over five minutes non-stop. “Darn, where did she get all THAT from?” wonders Stanley. The desk’s legs slide apart and its drawers drop down.
“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.”

- Erma Bombeck.
What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle?
- I’m bone to be wild!