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Wearing Jokes

Canadian Pick Up Lines
Is it hot in here or am I just wearing two pairs of long johns?
Gorilla Puns
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Food Poems
Roses are red, I’m not wearing a suit,
Carrots are not vegetables, they are actually fruit.
Deodorant Puns
Mother Superior had to crack down on sisters wearing perfume in the convent.
She said she would not tolerate such nun scents.
Clothes Pick Up Lines
I'm wearing green, you're wearing green, we have so much in common we should go out sometime.
Guess what I’m wearing? The smile you gave me!
What is it like to get paid smoldering at the camera while wearing expensive clothes?
Crocodile Puns
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
Knight Puns
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
Funny Animal Quotes
“Once when I was golfing in Georgia, I hooked the ball into the swamp. I went in after it and found an alligator wearing a shirt with a picture of a little golfer on it.”

- Buddy Hackett.
Zombie Puns
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Deer Puns
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
Orange Puns
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
Space Pick Up Lines
Are you wearing space pants? Because your a** is out of this world.
The Mistress, the Fiancé and the Wife...
Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, were chatting about their relationships and decided they needed to spice up their love lives. All three agreed to wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes that evening with their respective lovers. After a few days, they met up for lunch and compared notes. The engaged woman: "The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and, a mask. He saw me and said: 'You are the woman of my life. I love you.' Then we made love all night long." The mistress: "Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word, but we had wild fun all night!" The married woman said: "I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for the night when my husband came home. I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said: 'What's for dinner, Batman?'"