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Teachers Jokes

Onion Puns
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
Quotes
“Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers.”
Socrates
Kangaroo Puns
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
Tea Puns
What do teachers drink at school? Facul-Tea.
Monster Puns
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
Puns
Why do math teachers make good dancers?
Because they have algorithm.
One Liners and Short Jokes
Teachers said I'd never be any good at poetry because I'm dyslexic.
Well I’ve had the last laugh because I've just made two jugs and a vase.
Math Puns
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
My Teacher Wants to See You...
A young boy says to his father "Dad, our math teacher is asking to see you." "What happened?" The father asks. "Well, she asked me, 'how much is 7 * 9?' I answered '63' , then she asked, 'and 9 * 7?' So I asked 'what's the bloody difference?' "Indeed, what is the difference?" asks the father. ''Sure, I'll go.'' The next day, the boy comes home from school and says, "Dad, have you gone by the school?" "Not yet." "Well when you do, come and see the gym teacher also." "Why?" asks the father. "Well we had a gym class today, and he asked me to raise my left arm, I did. Then my right arm, I also raised it. Then he asked me to lift my right leg, so I did. 'Now,' he says, 'lift your left leg,' so I asked, 'What, am I suppose to stand on.... my penis??'" "Exactly," says the father. "Alright, I'll come." The next day, the boy asks his father "Did you go to the school?" "No, not yet." "Don't bother, I got expelled." Surprised, the father asks "Why did you get expelled?" "Well, they summoned me to the principal's office, and sitting there were the math teacher, the gym teacher, and the art teacher." "What the bloody hell was the art teacher doing there!?" asks the father. "That's what I bloody said!"
History Puns
I'm pretty sure all history teachers are necromancers
They only care about the dead.
History teachers are the worst gifters
They always think about the past, not the present.
When the History teachers wanted to help out students who were failing the subject privately, they put up a poster on the school bulletin boards that said, "Need Tudoring?"