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Suck Jokes

Funny Birthday Poems
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Birthdays suck,
If they're not for you.

Happy birthday!

(Kevin Nishmas)
Panda Puns
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
Music Puns
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
Trumpet Puns
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
Coffee Puns
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
Utensils Puns
I really hate straws.
They suck.
Mosquito Puns
A mosquito asks for a date: "I'd like to take you out to suck blood on someones leg"
She says "I don't know, I feel like I'm going out on a limb here."
Quotes
“Thank you, 2:30 in the morning, for always being the first sign that tomorrow’s gonna suck.”
Jimmy Fallon
Monster Puns
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
Funny Haiku
I think haikus suck.
Has to be five seven five.
Who came up with this?
Blood Puns
I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.
Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!