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Shirt Jokes

Crocodile Puns
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
Nature Puns
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
How to Return a Shirt
I went with a friend to buy a grey cotton sweatshirt. I bought one but when I got home I noticed a little rip in the left sleeve. I showed it to my friend who encouraged me to return it. Would you believe, when I got to the store, the salesperson said "I'm sorry. This isn't the sweatshirt you purchased. Our records indicate that the sweatshirt you bought was 80% rayon and polyester. We can't take back this cotton one." "I'm afraid you're wrong", said I, smiling at my friend, who had been with me through the whole affair. "I did indeed purchase a cotton sweatshirt." I pointed to my friend. "This is my material witness".
A Great Dentist
A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist." The guy, surprised, says "Yes! How did you figure that out?" "Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they have done, the girl says, "You must be a really good dentist." The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a really good dentist, How did you figure THAT out?" "Didn't feel a thing!"
Mouth Puns
What does a drunkard's mouth and a shirt have in common?
They are both 100% cotton.
Clothes Pick Up Lines
Feel my shirt. Know what it’s made of? Wifey material.
Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.
Take off your shirt, I want to be closer to your heart.
The khaki in my shirt brings out the color in your eyes.
Girl, I'm jealous of your shirt.
Because it's wrapped around you and I'm not.
Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material!
Nuts Puns
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
Laundry Puns
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
Food Poems
There was a professor named Chesterton
Who went for a walk with his best shirt on
Being hungry, he et it
But lived to regret it
And ruined for life his digestion.
Classic Pick Up Lines
Do you know what my shirt is made of? Husband material.
Funny Animal Quotes
“Once when I was golfing in Georgia, I hooked the ball into the swamp. I went in after it and found an alligator wearing a shirt with a picture of a little golfer on it.”

- Buddy Hackett.