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Sheep Jokes

Twinkle Twinkle Funny Poems
Twinkle Twinkle little star,
take me to some dreams afar.
Help me, help me get some sleep.
Before I have to shoot a sheep!
Christmas Puns
How do sheep greet each other during the holidays? Fleece Navidad!
Little Johnny is Fascinated
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating." The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.” Caroline raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see New York City and I was fascinated.” The teacher sighed and said, “Well, that was good Caroline, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.” Little Johnny raised his hand, now the teacher knew he was a bit of a scamp, but she was desperate to finish this lessons, so she finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate.” She sighed. "Go head, Johnny." Little Johnny smiles, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her breasts are so big she can only fasten eight!” The teacher sat down and cried.
Kangaroo Puns
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
Bee Puns
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
Drum Puns
A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff,
Ba-dum-tss
A Blond Changes Hair Color
There was a blonde who was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day, she decided to get a makeover, so she cut and dyed her hair. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheep herder over. "Tell you what. I have a proposition for you," said the woman. "If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?" "Sure," said the sheep herder. So, she sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied "382". "Wow!" said the herder. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home." So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car. Then, the herder said, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you". "What is it?" queried the woman. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Mountain Puns
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
Meat Puns
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Animal Pick Up Lines
Are you a sheep cause your body is unbaaaaalievable.
Medieval Puns
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
One Liners and Short Jokes
A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train.

“Aha”, says the engineer, “I see that Scottish sheep are black.”

“Hmm”, says the physicist, “You mean that some Scottish sheep are black”.

“No”, says the mathematician, “All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!”
Giant Puns
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
Hair Puns
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Knight Puns
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny