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Seeing Jokes

One Liners and Short Jokes
I only date blind people. It's the only way to make sure they're not seeing other lovers.
Beer Puns
My town always holds a contest to see which beer drinker's belly is biggest by seeing how far it goes past a line...
That's the paunch-line.
Funny Work Quotes
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
Ketchup Puns
What do two tomatoes do after not seeing each other for a long period of time?
They ketchup.
Elvis Pick Up Lines
Pretty lady, I guess wishes do come true, seeing as a boy like me met a a girl like you.
Quotes
“Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment.”
Betty White
Funny Break Up Lines
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Funny Parenting Quotes
“Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.”
—Doug Larson
Sports Pick Up Lines
Seeing that you're new here, let me show you where the water fountain is...the next drink's on me.
Zombie Puns
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
Mermaid Puns
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
Eye Puns
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
Mummy Puns
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Garden Quotes
"Every garden is unique with a multitude of choices in soils, plants and themes. Finding your garden theme is as easy as seeing what brings a smile to your face."
- Teresa Watkins