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Promptly Jokes

Anti Jokes
A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park.
A dog walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out, as animals are not allowed.
Are You Done With That Chili, Pal?
A hungry guy really fancies a bowl of hot chili. He sees a diner just up the street, so he decides to head there. A pretty waitress shows him to his seat, and he promptly places his order. The waitress says, "Sorry, but the guy next to you got the last bowl". He looks over and sees that the guy's finished his meal, but the bowl of chili is still full. He asks, "Are you going to eat that chili?" The other guy says, "No. Help yourself". He slides the bowl of chili over and starts to eat. When he gets about halfway down, his spoon hits something. He looks down sees a dead mouse and immediately pukes all the chili back into the bowl. The other guy says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got, too."
Thanksgiving Puns
Grandmother is making the dressing, and is adding several cans of Chicken Broth.

Dad: "You know where you can get that broth in bulk?"

Grandmother: "Where?"

Dad: "The stock market."

He was promptly kicked out of the kitchen.
Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.
Clever Jokes
René Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Would you like a beer?”
Descartes replies, “I think not,” and promptly disappears.