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Promise Jokes

Funny Animal Quotes
“Never break a promise to an animal. They're like babies—they won't understand.”

― Tamora Pierc
Weather Pick Up Lines
Hey pretty lady, let me take you out on a first date in the snow. I promise I’m not a flakey person.
Sports Pick Up Lines
I am so dedicated to basketball, but I promise you I will bring that dedication to our relationship.
The Beatles Pick Up Lines
Hold me tight dear and I promise to send all my loving to you.
Knock Knock Jokes
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ireland!
Ireland who?
Ireland you money, if you promise to pay me back.
Toxic Pick Up Lines
Just like I never play with poop, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.
Strawberry Puns
My grandmother was famous all over town for growing delicious strawberries.
She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited. When she passed away I fulfilled my promise. She’s dead and berried.
Nerdy Pick Up Lines
"Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy."
If you go out with me, I promise I won’t take you for granite.
Hockey Pick Up Lines
I promise I'm good for more than just a one-timer.
Cherry Puns
What do two cherries say when they get married? I promise to cherry-ish you forever.
Funny Birthday Poems
For you, nothing in this world
I would ever trade
You are more precious to me
Than a dazzling Jade
From every troubles of life
You have given me bail
Today I promise that for you
My love will never fail
One Liners and Short Jokes
Daddy? Do all fairy tales begin with ‘once upon a time’?
No, there are a whole series of fairy tales that begin with ‘If elected, I promise...’
Christian Pick Up Lines
Hey, let me take you out on a first date in the snow - I promise I'm not a flaky person.
Coffee Shop Pick Up Lines
Just promise you won’t tamper with my heart.
A Friendly Suggestion
A man bumps into an old high school friend he hadn't seen for a number of years. His old friend was notorious for bragging back in high school - about his possessions, achievements and relationships, so he wondered if much had changed in the time since he last saw him. It wasn't long before the man realized his old friend hadn't changed much at all - on and on he rambled, talking about his amazing job, his huge mansion and the new Porsche he'd just bought himself. At one point, the old friend pulls out a photograph of his wife and shows it to the man. "She's beautiful, isn't she?" the old friend asks. "If you think she's gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend," replies his exhausted friend. "Why? Is she a stunner too?" "No, she's an optometrist."
One Last Wish
Lying on his deathbed, an elderly man made his final request to his wife: "Honey, I'm almost out of time and there's something I'd like you to do for me when I'm gone." She nodded her head and said, "You can count on me. Anything you ask, I'll make sure it's done." "I want you to wed my buddy, Jacob," he said, his voice filled with emotion. Astonished, his wife replied, "Jacob? But I thought you couldn't stand him!" He smiled and looked into her eyes as he answered, "That's precisely why..."