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Practice Jokes

Funny Marriage Quotes
“In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.” —Helen Rowland
Funny Health Quotes
"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
Soccer Pick Up Lines
I'd like to practice some of my penalty kicks with you.
Yoga Pick Up Lines
Your presence gives meaning to my yoga practice and enlightenment.
The Burning Questions of Life
These innocent-looking questions are actually cleverly crafted: Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? Can fat people go skinny-dipping? Why is it that rain drops but snow falls? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, which side would it fall on? Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter? How did a fool and his money get together in the first place? Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from? How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign? Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container? What's another word for thesaurus? Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Birthday Jokes
After much dithering a woman summons the courage to ring her friend and sing Happy Birthday to her over the phone.
Half-way through her rendition she realises she’s rung the wrong number.
“Why didn’t you stop me when you realise it was a wrong number,” she asks the lady on the other end of the phone.
“You need all the practice you can get!”
Writing Puns
Practice safe text: use commas.
Food puns
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
Giraffe Puns
What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.
Peach Puns
One should always practice what they peach.
Music Pick Up Lines
Are you a practice room? Because I want you and I hope you're not taken
Volleyball Puns
We like rough sets. As long as you practice safe sets, there isn’t a problem.
There is no glory in practice, but without practice there can be no glory. This volleyball pun is very inspirational. For you to do your best, you have to be willing to practice.
Why did the volleyball players like to practice in the library? Their coach said that they’d be doing some reading today.
Water Sports Pick Up Lines
Are you the end of practice? Because you’re always on my mind.
Puns
I'm training to be an anesthetist, so I asked the head surgeon "Can I practice on my self first?"
He said "Sure, knock yourself out!"