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Moment Jokes

Food Quotes
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
Onion Puns
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
Marriage Puns
A man was about to propose to his fiancé but as soon as he got down on his knees, she started laughing.
It was a fun knee moment.
Funny Parenting Quotes
"If you were to open up a baby’s head – and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should – you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland." – Dave Barry
“My daughter just lost her first tooth, which is a very sweet moment for a dad. In retrospect, I do regret punching her so hard in the face.”

- Alan Cox.
Ancient Greek Monster Puns
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
Funny Work Quotes
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
Gnome Puns
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
Ghost Puns
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
Mexican Pick Up Lines
We can blame it on fajita the moment.
Mushroom Puns
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
Friendship Quotes
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one!”
— C.S. Lewis
St. Peter and the Politicians
St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates of Heaven When a group of politicians walked up. "Hey Petey, may we come in too Heaven?" asks one jovially. St. Peter replies "Well, we have never had a group of politicians come in to heaven before, let me ask God." He then turns around and goes to consult God. "My lord, there is a group of politicians at the pearly gates of Heaven. Should I let them in?" God thinks for a moment and says "We have never had politicians in Heaven before. Let's see how it goes. Let them in." St. Peter leaves God, only to come running back a few minutes later. "THEY'RE GONE!" He said. "The politicians?" "THE PEARLY GATES!!"
Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
Cherry Puns
There’s a great new rock and roll cover artist doing the rounds at the moment – his name is Chuck Cherry.