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Martin Jokes

Movie Pick Up Lines
"You know, it's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen foods section—because you could melt all this stuff."
- Steve Martin, My Blue Heaven (1990)
Funny Health Quotes
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
Funny Parenting Quotes
“I’ve got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: “Hello, goodbye, and I’m pregnant”.

- Dean Martin.
“Never underestimate a child’s ability to get into more trouble.”

- Martin Mull.
Funny Money Quotes
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
Tennis Puns
A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.