Lies Jokes

How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why shouldn’t you trust a guy who claims he “wears the pants”?
He probably lies about other stuff too.
The 3 Gentlemen and the Wall of Lies
Three men are walking in the desert for days, seeking a way out of the heated hellscape. There was an American, An Englishman and a Brazilian man. After a long while they encounter a huge wall. They try to go around it, over it, but the wall is too high and too long. They break down weeping, when the American spots a sign near the wall. The sign reads: "You must all tell a lie in order to break this wall. The greater the lie, the greater the damage. But beware, each one of you only has one try." The men sink into deep thinking state. After hours of thinking, the Englishman begins: "We, the English gentlemen, never drink tea with milk." The wall cracks. The American adds: "We, the American gentlemen never smoke stogies after a hard day of work." Again, the wall cracks. Now all left up to the Brazilian man, he takes a deep breath and starts: "We, the Brazilian gentlemen-" The wall shatters.
What do you call a skeleton who lies?
A phoney-ba-boney.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
For years, my brother wanted to be an archeologist...
But ten years in, his career lies in ruins.