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Labor Jokes

Spouse Puns
I rang the doctor on our way to the hospital, and said, "Quick! my pregnant wife is going into labor, what should I do?"
He said, "Is this her first child?"
I said, "Of course not, this is her husband!"
Funny Work Quotes
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
Ghost Puns
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
Funny Birthday Poems
People tend to compare aging to a bottle of wine.
You find yourself a little stout and round,
And dust may litter your behind.
Like the grapes that create a fine wine,
The fruits of your labor have become your wisom from age.
Timeless and valued beyond compare,
And the lable may need a bit of repair.
But unlucky for you,
None of this is true.
I wish I could say something better,
My friend, you have aged like cheddar.
Dad Jokes
My wife screamed in pain during labor.
I asked, “What’s wrong?”.
She screamed. “These contractions are killing me!!”
“I am sorry, honey.” I replied. “What is wrong?”
Nurse Puns
During labor, the nurse came up to my wife and said, “How about epidural anesthesia?”
I said, “Thanks, but we already picked a name.”
Head Puns
Why is a baby showing the top of its head during labor a significant event?
Because that’s the baby’s crowning achievement.
From Work to Worse
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor. The nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!" The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room. About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company." The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air." The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."
Onion Puns
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
Bread Puns
The mother helped her child bake bread because it was a labor of loaf. True enough.
Strawberry Puns
On Mother's Day we went strawberry picking and made a jam from the fruits of our labor.