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Keeping Jokes

Grass Puns
What do you call police obsessed with keeping good grass?
Lawn-Forcement
Brain Puns
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
Zombie Puns
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
Meat Puns
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Crow Puns
I hate getting into arguments with farmers about the best methods for keeping crows away.
They always resort to straw man arguments.
Funny Parenting Quotes
“I think being a good father is keeping the mother happy so she doesn’t drive the kids crazy.”

- James, ‘Look Who’s Talking.’