Jokes > Tags > Heating Jokes

Heating Jokes

AC Unit Puns
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
Anti Jokes
How do you get rid of a cold?
Turn the heating on.
Spine Puns
My dad just told me something that sent a chill down my spine.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
How to Get the Husband Hot and Heavy
Two women are talking about their love life over coffee. "I don't know what to do.." groans Margie, "I'm too shy to ask for it, and he doesn't initiate enough!" "Well," said her friend Sharon, "I have a surefire way to start up my husband." "Oh?" asks Margie, "DO tell!" "Well," smirks Sharon, "I just sit next to him and then I slowly put my hand down his pants and say: "My, aren't you cold in there, could use some heating up... works every time!" "You know what, maybe I'll try that." laughs Margie. They meet up again a few days later and Margie is in a terrible mood. "You almost got me divorced!" she says to Sharon. "WHAT? HOW??" Sharon is astounded. "Well, I did what you said, and I stuck my hand down his pants, but it wasn't cold it was already hot!" "So?" asks Sharon, confused. "Well then I asked my husband why the inside of his pants is hot and not cold like Sharon's husband."
Love Puns
Being in love is a lot like central heating in your home.
You turn it on just before your guests come over and pretend that your house is always like this.
Weather Pick Up Lines
Will you come to my place? You can sure lower my heating bill with your hotness.