Hard Jokes

"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner
My love for you is like a fruitcake during the holidays - nutty, spicy and unavoidable, no matter how hard you try.
I started dating the girl across the street. Honestly, lawn-distance relationships aren’t that hard.
What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
Walnuts are hard to crack open. It can take several mi-nuts.
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
If you think a meteor is hard, you should see what you are doing to my missile.
It's been a hard day's night without your lovin', Oh darling.
If you come with me, I'll show you a hard day's night.
The reason orange juice doesn’t slide well on hard wood floors is Because of pulp friction.
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
What do oranges have after a hard work out? Juice!
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"