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Hard Jokes

Food Quotes
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
Christian Pick Up Lines
My love for you is like a fruitcake during the holidays - nutty, spicy and unavoidable, no matter how hard you try.
Elf Puns
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
Orange Puns
The reason orange juice doesn’t slide well on hard wood floors is Because of pulp friction.
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
What do oranges have after a hard work out? Juice!
The Beatles Pick Up Lines
It's been a hard day's night without your lovin', Oh darling.
If you come with me, I'll show you a hard day's night.
Space Pick Up Lines
If you think a meteor is hard, you should see what you are doing to my missile.
Nuts Puns
What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
Walnuts are hard to crack open. It can take several mi-nuts.
Funny Aging Quotes
"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner
Garden Puns
I started dating the girl across the street. Honestly, lawn-distance relationships aren’t that hard.