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Happiness Jokes

Garden Quotes
“Money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy plants, and that’s the same thing.”
— Anonymous
A Theory of Happiness
A therapist has a theory that couples who make love once a day are the happiest. So he decides to test this theory. He convenes all the couples he can find at a special seminar. He then starts by asking the many people in the audience. “How many people here make love once a day?” Half the people raise their hands, each of them grinning widely. “Once a week?” A third of the audience members raise their hands, their grins a bit less vibrant. "How many of you make love once a month?” A few hands tepidly go up. No grins could be sighted. Then he asks, “OK, how about once a year?” To his shock, one man in the back jumps up and down, jubilantly waving his hands and whistling. The therapist is shocked - this man's reaction completely disproves his theory! “If you make love only once a year,” he asks, “why are you so happy?” The man shouts: "Today’s the day!”
Funny Animal Quotes
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“The happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man, it is to know that and to wonder at it.”

- Jacques Yves Cousteau.
Funny Money Quotes
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping." ~ Bo Derek
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
Onion Puns
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
Food Quotes
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.