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Happiness Jokes

Garden Quotes
“Money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy plants, and that’s the same thing.”
— Anonymous
Funny Money Quotes
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping." ~ Bo Derek
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
Food Quotes
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
Onion Puns
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
A Theory of Happiness
A therapist has a theory that couples who make love once a day are the happiest. So he decides to test this theory. He convenes all the couples he can find at a special seminar. He then starts by asking the many people in the audience. “How many people here make love once a day?” Half the people raise their hands, each of them grinning widely. “Once a week?” A third of the audience members raise their hands, their grins a bit less vibrant. "How many of you make love once a month?” A few hands tepidly go up. No grins could be sighted. Then he asks, “OK, how about once a year?” To his shock, one man in the back jumps up and down, jubilantly waving his hands and whistling. The therapist is shocked - this man's reaction completely disproves his theory! “If you make love only once a year,” he asks, “why are you so happy?” The man shouts: "Today’s the day!”
Funny Animal Quotes
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“The happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man, it is to know that and to wonder at it.”

- Jacques Yves Cousteau.