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Dreams Jokes

Funny Work Quotes
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
Halloween Pick Up Lines
Are you a ghost? Because you’ve been haunting my dreams.
Travel Puns
If you are going to sleep, I wish you suite dreams.
The Mayor's Nightly Visit
A new mayor of Chicago is chosen. That night, Franklin Delano Roosevelt appears. The mayor asks him "What can I do to make Chicago even greater?". FDR responds: "Do everything for the people". The mayor wakes up startled, and mutters "Lies!" under his breath. The next night, George Washington appears in the dreams of the mayor. He asks "What can I do to make Chicago even greater?", to which GW responds "Never tell a lie". The mayor wakes up startled, and curses under his breath. "That's not possible!" The next night, Abraham Lincoln appears in the mayor's dreams. The mayor asks "What can I do to make Chicago even greater?" Abraham looks at the mayor, scratches his beard, and takes a while to answer. "Visit a theater."
Drugstore Pick Up Lines
Baby, I'm like efavirenz. I can decrease your odds of nightmares, but you still may have strong vivid dreams about me — a very common side effect.
Quotes
“I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.”
Mitch Hedberg
Sorry Pick Up Lines
Remember me? Oh I'm sorry how would you know me, we've met only in my dreams.
Twinkle Twinkle Funny Poems
Twinkle Twinkle little star,
take me to some dreams afar.
Help me, help me get some sleep.
Before I have to shoot a sheep!
Apology Pick Up Lines
Sorry I've been following you...
But my parents told me to chase my dreams.
Classic Pick Up Lines
Haven’t I seen you before? Maybe in my dreams?
Would you mind loaning me a quarter? I want to call my mother and tell her I just met the woman of my dreams.
Hi. Do you remember me? Oh, that’s right—we’ve only met in my dreams.
Jogging Pick Up Lines
You can stop running after your dreams. I am right here.
Travel Pick Up Lines
Do you have a quarter I can Bora Bora? I want to call my mom and tell her I've met the girl of my dreams.
The Valentine's Day Gift
It was a few days before Valentine's Day and a young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day! What do you think it means?" Her husband smiled. "Oh, I have a feeling you'll know later tonight." he said with a wink. His wife squealed with joy. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it... only to find a book titled "The meaning of dreams."
Food Pick Up Lines
Are you sugar? Because I just had sweet dreams about you.
Toilet Puns
As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush ...
Safe to say I have pipe dreams!