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Deadly Jokes

Phone Puns
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
Italy Puns
I'm a supervillain from Italy, I have the power to infect people with deadly diseases.
It’s-a-me, Malario.
Ancient Greek Monster Puns
Within the labyrinthine bureaucracy prowls the deadly Adminotaur.
Funny Animal Quotes
“My relationships with my cats have saved me from a deadly, pervasive ignorance.”

- William S. Burroughs.
Fruit Puns
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
Sloth Puns
I told my husband that the National Zoo's sloth bear gave birth but ate two of the three babies. He said "now she's guilty of 2 deadly sins: sloth and gluttony."