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Commit Jokes

Friendship Quotes
“I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell — you see, I have friends in both places."
— Mark Twain
Romantic Pick Up Lines
The only crime I will ever commit is stealing your heart.
Let's commit the perfect crime, I'll steal your heart and you'll steal mine.
Garden Quotes
"I have no plants in my house. They won't live for me. Some of them don't even wait to die, they commit suicide."
- Jerry Seinfeld
Crow Puns
What do you call it when a raven marries a crow? A conspiracy to commit to murder.
Brain Puns
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
Knight Puns
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Medieval Puns
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Love Puns
Let’s commit the perfect crime together.
I’ll steal your heart and you can steal mine.
Turtle Puns
Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
To the shell-block.
Turtles that commit crime are sent to the shell-block.