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Apples Jokes

Dad Jokes
How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them.
Physics Puns
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade; when life gives you apples, make physics equations.
(Looking at you Newton).
Apple Puns
Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why? The orchard's on fire.
What do you say when a fruit wins the talent show? How about them apples?
What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !
How do you get the most apples at Halloween? Take a snorkel.
Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States? Because they don't want to be as American as apple pie.
Anti Jokes
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
Funny Limericks
There was an enchanting young bride,
Who ate many green apples and died.
The apples fermented,
inside the lamented,
and made cider inside her inside.
God is Watching
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic primary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Hey, we can take all we want. God is watching the apples."