Last night I was but by a bloodsucker from the moon.
Damn lunatics.
Becoming a space pilot is not easy. It requires a good altitude.
How do you organise a welcome party for an alien race?
You planet.
Libya changed its plain green flag to a crescent moon, but I think they'll change it back.
It's only a phase, after all.
How will you save yourself if you come across an aggressive alien? Give him some space.
When NASA will put 20 heads of cattle into the outer space, it will be the 1st herd shot around the entire world.
Living on Earth might be expensive. But we surely get a free trip around the sun every year!
What is the angriest place on Earth?
Ire-land
What various kinds of fishes live in space? Starfish.
What do you call an alien spaceship that's leaking water?
A crying saucer.
Why did the police arrest the star? That’s becuase it was a shooting star.
Where do astronauts go for lunch?
Apollo Loco.
What's E.T. short for?
Because he's got little legs.
Why is Jupiter so sad and heartbroken? Because his crush wants a plutonic relationship with him.
What is a lightyear?
The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
How will you have communion in the space if you won’t have mass?
Why can’t people hear your scream in the space? Because it’s miles away.
How does one astronaut on the moon tell another astronaut that he is sorry?
He apollo-gises.
Have you heard about the chef on space station? He’s not that much of an astronaut, but his food is literally out of this world!
Cassini spacecraft took pictures of both Saturn and Earth. It was literally the best of both worlds.
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped in gum?
He got stuck in Orbit.
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
I thought about studying the astronomy for my university. But then I thought, I would just be taking up space.
Those who study the moon for their course or as a habit, are optimists. And that is because they look at the brighter side always.
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
The earth's rotation really makes my day.
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
What does Earth get on Earth day ?
A birthday quake !
Well, there are mixed reviews. People say the food is great. But there is no atmosphere or ambience.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket.
Why don't aliens get hungry after being blasted into space?
Because they've just had a big launch.
Why people did not like the restaurant on? Because there was literally no atmosphere.
This year, I've really enjoyed watching 'Planet Earth'.
It's a shame that it only has four seasons.
Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket for bonfire night.
He's over the moon!He's over the moon!
I've finally started to believe that Pluto is not really a planet...
Especially when I saw him in a cartoon.
There’s a lot of proposals on cleaning up space in earth’s orbit from broken satellites.
Looks like they’ll need a vacuum cleaner.
What do you call the Earth when it is quaking?
Shakesphere.
What did Earth say to the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
Wanna know a way for werewolves to howl other than the full moon?
Make them stub their toe.
Beer is the greatest beverage on earth.
That's my pint of view, anyway.
What type of elements know everybody on earth?
Met-all.
Why did the cow go right up to the spaceship? To see the Mooooooooooon.
Where do aliens park their flying saucers?
At a parking meteor.
Which hot drinks space people like? Gravi-tea.
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight.
Why does no one trust the man on the moon?Why does no one trust the man on the moon?
Because he has a dark side!
When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
What will a space turkey say to another one? Hubble Hubble.
What will you do when you will see a spaceman? You will simply park your car, man!
"I heard some dictator wants to move the Earth further from the sun."
"Why??"
"Because it will take longer to make a full revolution."