Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
Where do the astronauts park their vehicles? At the parking meteors.
Which candy do astronauts like? Marsbar.
Every time when I see a picture of something amazing in space, I usually say “That’s totally far out.”
What did Earth say to the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
Is that the Dog star? You can’t be Sirius!
Elon Musk is now the richest person on the planet.
Space X has really taken off this past year.
Sun to Earth, on the night of 31st December:
"Let's have another round, shall we?"
How do planets staying busy during hunting season?
By shooting stars.
Why would a cow want to go to space? To see the Milky Way.
Two astronauts who were dating, met up for a launch date.
What do you call two celebrities who get into a gun fight?
One is a shooting star, and the other is a falling star.
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!" and I thought to myself...
“That’s just spam.”
What do you say to an astronaut looking for a car park
There's a spaceman.
What is the angriest place on Earth?
Ire-land
It is difficult to hold up a trouser. How does Jupiter does it? Simply, with an asteroid belt.
What do you call an alien with three eyes?
An aliiien.
Why will you not want to give a bath to the Saturn? It would then leave a ring around the tub.
Why does no one trust the man on the moon?Why does no one trust the man on the moon?
Because he has a dark side!
What various kinds of fishes live in space? Starfish.
Why is the moon so conceited at times?
It becomes full of itself.
What will you do when you will see a spaceman? You will simply park your car, man!
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight.
Living costs on the moon would probably be out of this world.
Scientists have found that the center of Jupiter… has the letter i.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What kind of light goes around the earth? A Satel-lite.
"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
"No sun."
Why people did not like the restaurant on? Because there was literally no atmosphere.
There's this vampire who's more powerful than any other, because he can't be hurt by the sun
All other vampires pale in comparison.
Tomorrow the planet will be one year older..
Happy bEarthday!
I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it aren’t exactly well rounded.
I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, “What’s your favourite planet?”
Her: It’s Venus.
Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?
An astronaut who normally fails on a weightlessness experiment, might surely be aware of the gravity of the situation.
Old astronomers got so tired of waiting for the sun to go down, that they decided to pack it up and call it a day.
This year, I've really enjoyed watching 'Planet Earth'.
It's a shame that it only has four seasons.
What do planets like to read?
Comet books.
How do you organise a welcome party for an alien race?
You planet.
I dare you to lie that you didn’t find all these space puns hilarious. Th
I've finally started to believe that Pluto is not really a planet...
Especially when I saw him in a cartoon.
Why doesn’t the sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees!
Why is the taste of moon rock better than that of Earth rock? Because it’s a little meteor.
Whats the first day of the week called in outer space?
Moonday.
Libya changed its plain green flag to a crescent moon, but I think they'll change it back.
It's only a phase, after all.
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
Why does NASA give astronauts pencils to use in space?
Because they've got the Write Stuff.
Why didnt the moon go outside?
Because it was waning.
Last evening I walked up the hill in the park to see the planets. Stumbled over a lip in the concrete and went down pretty hard. Ripped pants and skinned hands and knees. When I got to the top I couldn't see a thing.
The view was NOT worth the trip.
How does one astronaut on the moon tell another astronaut that he is sorry?
He apollo-gises.
Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket for bonfire night.
He's over the moon!He's over the moon!