What caused the airline to go bankrupt? Runway inflation.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear
Why is it so windy inside a stadium?
There are hundreds of fans.
What kind of bed does a mermaid sleep in? A water
What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut?
I'm a cashew!
Can February march?
No, but April may.
What has one horn and gives milk?
A milk truck.
Q: What did one tooth say to the other tooth?
A: Thar's gold in them fills!
What do you call a bear with no socks on? Bare-foot.
What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? It barked with de-light!
What do you call a book that's about the brain? A mind reader.
What do you get when you cross Sonic The Hedgehog and Curious George? 2 Fast 2 Curious
Which is the longest word in the dictionary? "Smiles", because there is a mile between each "s"!
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
Q: Did you hear the one about the virus?
A: Never mind, I don't want to spread it around.
How do spiders communicate? Through the World Wide Web.
What do you get if you a cross a card game with a typhoon? Bridge over troubled water.
What happened when a faucet, a tomato and lettuce were in a race? The lettuce was ahead, the faucet was running and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam!
What did the alien say to the garden? Take me to your weeder.
What’s a snake’s strongest subject in school?
Hiss-tory.
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
Which month do soldiers hate most? The month of March!
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
Why did the log fall into a creek? Because that's how it ROLLS!
What did one math book say to the other?
I’ve got so many problems.
What scares a caterpillar?
A dog-erpillar!
Who earns a living driving their customers away? A taxi driver. What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? LMAYO
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time
What do you call two fat people having a chat? A heavy discussion.
What event do spiders love to attend?
Webbings.
What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits!
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Tentacles.
Do you know why diarrhea is hereditary? Because it runs through your jeans. What would you do if I stole a kiss? Call the Police
Where does bad light go? PRISM!
What was the seal's favorite subject in school?
ART ART ART!