What do you call a Bee who is having a bad hair day? A Frisbee.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will Let it go.
Why can't a leopard hide? Because he's always spotted!
Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Never mind, it’s over your head.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
Nacho cheese!
When I was young there were only 25 letters in the Alphabet. Nobody new why.
Q: Why did the king go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned!
What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it? Post Office!
What do you call a gangsta snowman? Froze-T
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go MOO!
What has one head, one foot and four legs? A Bed
Why did the birdie go to the hospital? To get a tweetment.
What Do You Call A Bear With No Teeth? A Gummy Bear
What did the penny say to the other penny? We make perfect cents.
What do you call a South American girl who is always in a hurry? Urgent Tina
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
What did the tie say to the hat? A. You go on ahead and I'll hang around
What do you give a dog with a fever? Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog! What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon? A sour puss!
Why did the banana go to the Doctor? Because it was not peeling well
Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
What's the first bet that most people make in their lives? the alpha bet
What time is it when people are throwing pieces of bread at your head?
Time to duck.
Why is England the wettest country? Because the queen has reigned there for years!
Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs? Because the cow has the utter.
What’s the most expensive kind of fish?
A gold fish.
Why did the giraffe get bad grades? He had his head in the clouds.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An Investigator
Where does bad light go? PRISM!
Can February March? No. But April May.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
Q: Did you hear the one about the virus?
A: Never mind, I don't want to spread it around.
Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job? Because she couldn't control her pupils?
What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving? A turkey!
What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? SUPPLIES!
Q: Where does a boat go when it's sick?
A: To the dock!
What kind of driver never get a parking ticket? A screw driver
What event do spiders love to attend?
Webbings.
What do you get when you cross Speedy Gonzales with a country singer? Arriba McEntire.
What do you call a crushed angle? a rectangle
Which is the building is the largest? The library because it has the most stories.
What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits!
What happened when a faucet, a tomato and lettuce were in a race? The lettuce was ahead, the faucet was running and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? A. Milk and quackers!
What did the digital watch say to his grandfather? Look grandpa no hands!
What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead and I'll hang around!
Who do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales.